Hadran Alach

 B"SD

On completing a tractate of Gemara, it's traditional to recite the text Hadran Alach. Ideally this should be at a siyum (I've never actually managed this). 

I've no idea whether this applies to midrash, or to completing a 'study cycle' in blog form.  However, in the spirit of a siyum I want to pause and take stock before the next stage - of which, more later! 

If you're new, it's worth visiting my first post in 2011 for more about myself and why I started this blog. Basically, I had just finalised my conversion after over a decade of being a 'wannabe Jew' and went "Now what?" Blogging about midrash was part of the answer. 

I originally aimed to cover a chapter from the Midrash Tanchuma about each weekly parsha i.e. one post a week. As you can see from the post dates that quickly fell by the wayside because, well, life happened. More specifically: getting engaged then married to the ever-patient DS, a couple of flat moves, dealing with a crazy job/commute, doing professional qualifications, trying to do Daf Yomi and getting talked into LSJS's Bradfield programme*. Something had to give, and alas it was this blog.** 

Cue 2021 and mat leave for kid #2. I needed some projects to keep me sane while looking after a baby. Thanks to one of our local shuls***, I'd already got back into regular learning and started editing (and sometimes writing) the parsha section for the shul newsletter - both of which were making me itch to restart the blog. I got an idea for a new direction, but felt it was important to finish what I'd started first. So one of my 'mat leave projects' became finishing off the Midrash Tanchuma cycle from Ki Tetze up until V'zot HaBeracha (which was actually completed nearly two months after returning to work...)****. 

Things I've learnt:

• Some people can come up with a drasha at the drop of a hat. I can't. When I write a drasha, it usually takes a few weeks of reading and mulling over in my head before I actually set fingers to keyboard. Even back in 2011, trying to read, absorb, and write about complex midrashic texts in under a week proved a challenge - hence all the apologies for delayed posts. 

Nowadays, being a working mum of two under-5s makes weekly posts impossible. Even this one has taken most of the Omer to get out. So going forwards, I'm not setting myself any particular deadline for a post but will just write and update when I can.  

• Sources are still an issue. On the one hand, if I'm not writing about an easily available text like the parsha, I need to provide these somehow - especially as the whole point is usually close reading of the text. On the other hand, a blog is not a live class where you can simultaneously read a source sheet and listen to the teacher. In a blog, you are only using your eyes - and I worry that dumping a chunk of source text at the start of a post isn't great for readers. I've mostly kept to that format for the Midrash Tanchuma posts, but for Part II will try and play around with this a bit. 

• Sefaria was still in its infancy during 2012-2013. Back then, writing a post meant a convoluted process of reading through the midrash in my printed book, finding an online source which (hopefully) had the same version, then painstakingly identifying and copying over the relevant Hebrew sources and the translation. In some cases, I remember having to type out the translation myself from the book. I probably spent at least as long on this as actually writing the post itself, and some of the links I used may no longer work (sorry!). 

Nowadays, the entire Midrash Tanchuma - with translation - is easily accessible on Sefaria, which makes putting together sources a breeze. It's also extremely helpful for looking up linked commentaries and texts, even if not everything is translated (yet). I'll hopefully use it much more in Part II - in the meantime, if you don't already donate to Sefaria please consider becoming a donor...

• Writing style. Again, I'm still playing around with this. I've found it depends on whether I end up with a traditional 'and here is the lesson we can take from the midrash' drasha or a 'hey, look at this really cool thing I found in the midrash!!' post. Personally, I enjoy writing the latter more. Hopefully, they're also more interesting to read.

Timing is an issue here is well. I usually write by plopping loads of words onto a page then whittling them down into something readable. This only works if you give yourself the breathing space to revisit, revise and proofread before going 'live'.  When I was trying to keep to a weekly schedule, this wasn't always possible - so some earlier posts ended up as a rambling mess. Oops. 

So...Part II. 

Looking back, it feels like some early posts were my way of working out my identity as a 'freshly minted' Jew. 11 years on, I'm still upfront about my giyoret status and still very much aware of the 'insider/outsider' place this gives me in the community. 

Delving into midrash also made me aware of many examples of gerim beyond the typical triad of Avraham, Sarah and Ruth - as well as other figures who fall into the grey zone between Jew and non-Jew (or, in some cases, proto-Jew). 

For my next project, I want to write some mini-portraits of these figures and their relevance for us today. Names on my list include - Enoch, Terach, Timna, Batya, Orpah, Yitro/Tzipora and Talmudic figures such as Shemaya and Avtalyon, Queen Helene and Valeria. Avraham, Sarah and Ruth will make it in as well, don't worry!

In between, I'll add my own musings about gerut and how gerim fit into the wider Jewish community today. Plus, anything else parsha or midrash-related that might be interesting - I don't want to typecast myself, and one earlier post is probably due a rewrite by now. 

As above, I'm not setting myself any deadlines so can't guarantee how often I'll be posting. If you're interested, watch this space. Hopefully it'll be worth it!

And finally, please do comment so that I know I'm not just posting into the ether...

Shabbat shalom, chag sameach and hadran alach. 

RPT

*I'm not naming names as I'm trying to keep the blog semi-anonymous. If you're reading this and were involved, then thank you ;-)

**And later, Daf Yomi, which had already turned into 'Sheva Dapim shel Shabbat' even though I was only studying in translation. I did pick up Masechet Niddah at the end of the last cycle because I really really wanted to learn that one. But it'll be a while before I attempt this again...

*** See * above :-)

****It helped that I had some semi-written posts in draft from 2013, but the last 3-4 posts were pretty much done from scratch. Also, if you used to read the blog then the 2021 posts are a good place to jump back in.